Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize