Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just puked most of my soul out..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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