just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
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i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
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So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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