We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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