I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize