Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
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So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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