Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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