Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize