i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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