you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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