You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
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Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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