My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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