Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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