i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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