life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize