I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
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Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
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Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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