it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize