I wish life had little blips of pornography
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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