I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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