i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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