Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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