Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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