Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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