The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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