i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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