Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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