He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize