so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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