Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize