i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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