genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
tell me about the eggs
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