there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize