It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize