I wish they made helmets for livers.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize