theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize