Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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