I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
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There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
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I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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