there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize