now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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