i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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