Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize