i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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