i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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