im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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