Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize