So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize