yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We're too hungover to prance.
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