Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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