Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
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he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
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I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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