Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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